That's what I thought.
24 years of married life, even though we are a family, I see myself as that. Independent. Mostly I thought that my husband cannot live without me. I am the one who does everything for him. Except for the cooking which I really don't possess the talent nor the patience. If he needs to process some documents, it's me who prepares it all. Vacation, I'm the one who's planning it. Even the preparation of baggages, I do it. School appointments, dentist appointment, doctor's appointment, name it, it's all written in my planner and all I need to do is to remind him of those things. Just like a secretary. I take pride in me, myself and me alone can all those things. In my head, without me my husband's world might not collapse but surely, it will stop.
Until the 18 days taught me wrong.
My husband went back home to the Philippines to spend time with his brothers and the rest of his family. I insisted that he take that vacation because he was missing them so much that I can almost touch his pain every time we talk about it. He always says that he don't want to go home alone. Atlas, a friend of him will also go back home. I took the opportunity of convincing him that he needs to go, even without us.
We can't go as a family because the prize of airplane tickets alone for all 5 of us will costs all our savings. Not to include the pocket money that we need to spend when we arrive there. Secondly, the school is still up, so it will be an inconvenience for the kids to be pulled out of school for three weeks. And the board of Education here in France is somewhat strict and wouldn't allow it if without a really, really valid reason.
So I said go and don't worry. I can handle everything as I always do and have a great time.
And he did.
He did had a great time specially with his family whom he hasn't seen for almost 5 years.
But me on the other hand discovered many things.
I discovered that cooking is not really for me. My brain is exploding every time I think of what to cook for lunch and dinner. I don't have patience to wait for them to be over.
I discovered that thrash should be taken out on the eve of Sunday because the garbage truck passes on Monday morn. And I also discovered how heavy those thrashes are.
I discovered that we should have at least 6 Liters of milk and more than 2 pack of water (12L) per week. And how heavy those things are, I felt that my shoulders dislocating while carrying them and to think I need to carry them until the second floor. (We live in an apartment on the second floor without elevator)
I discovered how to open and close the garage door. Which took me a clear 20 minutes to do so.
I discovered how hard to repair broken things at home and things like the bike of my daughter and how greasy that is.
I discovered that it is not easy organizing things in the refrigerator. Yes, I know, even the refrigerator, he is the one handling it.
I discovered that I need to buy some groceries every week and make some list before going because even though I am already there, I don't know what to buy. Not like when my husband is doing it, he knows what to buy and he even don't have a list.
I discovered that cleaning the toilet, the bathroom, the floor and the kitchen takes time. For he mostly do those things.
I discovered that washing dishes are really tiring. We don't have a dishwasher so normally we wash the dishes twice a day or we wait until the end of the day to wash all things we used for the whole day. I didn't even believe him when he told me that it is tiring to do those things. It wasn't me who's doing it, so my head, he's making excuses so that we buy a dish washer.
I discovered that preparing breakfast takes a lot of creativity which sometimes I don't realize that my husband possesses. One day our youngest daughter asked me for a crêpe and I just couldn't do it because she was asking me to flip it over by throwing it in air just like what his father does.
I discovered that taking my son to and fro to his tennis lessons, piano lessons, solfège lessons and other lessons tires me.
I discovered that there should always be tissue paper, water and some cookies or fruits when going out with our kids. Yes, my husband is meticulous like that or either he is so used to going out with our kids that he knows what they need, which I don't really realized until it was my turn to do them.
I discovered that even simple things in life, I cannot do them because it was always my husband who's taking care of these simple things for me.
I mostly discovered and realized that I am as dependent on my husband as he is dependent on me.
I may not discover these things if not for the 18 days living as a single Mom. And it made me appreciate more the sacrifices that my husband does for me and for my kids.
Don't get me wrong. I did had a good time with our kids. It's just that the 18 days being alone with them made me realized a lot of things.
And thank God for these 18 days. The 18 days which made me realize that all is not about me and myself. The 18 days that crushes my pride and taught me humility. The 18 days that led me to appreciate the simple things that my husband does for me in our everyday living. And I thank God this 18 days is over.
______________________________________________
NB: One thing that I also realized is how hard it is for all single mothers out there to do more of these things and of unlimited time too because for me after 18 days I know that I won't be alone again. That is why I am honoring all those single mothers out there who stands as both mother and father to their kids.
It makes me realize how lucky are people like me to have someone besides them going through everyday life.
