Do we not deserve to ask for prayers? #PrayforParis

Paris attacks brought issues of other unknown and unheard attacks all over the world. But it doesn't mean that we are not one with them. It is hurtful to see a lot of negative remarks on Facebook or Instagram about this issue.

The #PrayforParis solicited a lot of negative reactions. Saying that we should not pray for Paris because there are lots of people who experienced worst than what we experienced. But who could blame us for asking for prayers? We asked for prayers because this is our HOME and we still want a home, to go back to each day or each night, safe and sound. We ask for prayers because this is what we already considered our home for people like me who don't have any home to go back to because of reasons known and unknown to you and to everyone else.We asked for prayers because in prayers we can find courage amidst our fear to stand up once again and protect our home. We asked for prayers because we still want a home to defend. All victims of the attacks were either a father, a mother, a brother, a sister, a friend or an acquaintance of someone we know, might have known, used to know or don't really know but they are all our fellow "Parisiens." Our hearts bleeds for them because they took us in and made us feel that we belong. Now, can we not feel for them? So why do you question us asking for prayers?

But it doesn't mean that we do not care or we do not ask for prayers about the other victims all over the world. Saying that no one cares when there was a bombing in Beirut a day before the incident in Paris. How can we not know, there are 41 people that died that day because of the two suicide bombings. Our hearts bleeds with them as much as we bleed for our fellow citizens here in France. Saying that Baghdad was not brought to the media because there was no single "white" casualties?  Do you really need to turn it into a "race" issue? Do you think that all victims here in Paris are "white?" Paris is one of the most multicultural city in the world. So please before saying these words to our bleeding heart, re-think again.

Don't assume that we don't pray for all humanity. We are one with the world praying, because we are a part of  it, we are a part of humanity who wants to achieve the peace that we deserve.We may not have posted it in our status in any social media but every time there's terrorist attacks even in the unknown city or unknown part of the world, our hearts goes with them. Please don't deem that we're only doing this because it's PARIS.

Do we not deserve prayers?

Memories

I was going through some photos the other day, when I came across these photos of my younger years together with my "kids." (I always refer to my students as my kids for I am their mother at school after all). It was 15 or 16 years ago. Photos when I was teaching at pre-school way back then.

I look at those faces and see much in them. I see a future that holds grand dreams. I see a better tomorrow with all those smiling faces. I see their positive outlook in this so-called life. I see hope, love and joy. I see everything. I also see pain and failures that will not stop them from achieving their goals and dreams. I see hard work that may not be sometimes appreciated but nevertheless, will one day be recognized. I see them falling yet learning how to stand each time they fall. I see creativeness, uniqueness and ingenuity. I see them living a righteous, simple and happy life not stepping on anyone just to be where they are. I see them proud and tall. And I am proud of them all.

Since leaving the Philippines 14 years ago, I never heard from anyone of them. Most of them may have started to have their own family by now. So I wish them all, a wish mother can give to her child: Wherever they are, what ever they do, who ever they become, I wish them happiness.


Always,
Teacher Mimi
 

Unplanned

Why is it in life nothing seems to go your way? I didn't get a positive or negative reply to the position that I was waiting for, for I didn't get anything at all. I waited for one week and then two weeks and then I stopped waiting for it. I just need to focus on what I have right now. Luckily, I got to go out of France even for a short time. Just to cut off the routine in my life. And it was a the best week that I had for this year, short but the best.

It was short of unplanned vacation for we weren't really sure if we can go, for my daughter has an audition that she's been waiting for and we aren't sure of the exact date yet. So we decided to wait for the call and it came at the end of the month of July and as expected her audition is on the 27th of August which leaves us 5 free days before the said audition. So planning the vacation is a little bit rushed. The best hotels and apartels (apartment-hotel) are fully booked by the time I started looking for it. Which left us with no choice but to book whatever we can find. I always use Booking.com when finding hotels because I already tested the services for almost five years now and happy to say, that we always get the best services through it. Enough of the intro, I want to introduce to you to the best 5 days on my life this year.

THE RIDE 

It is a 9 hour drive (non-stop) from Paris, France. But of course, our family really loves sight seeing that's the first reason why we want to do it by car. To stop every now and then and admire what we see. And on the way, we saw and experienced these:

L'ESTARTIT, SPAIN

Well, a little background about Estartit. It's a part of the Girona province of Spain. Just a little off the borders of France.  And it is in the coast called Costa Brava. One of the famous inexpensive tourist destination in Europe.
 

What attracts me here is the proximity to the beach and to the mountain. It is in between the Mediterranean sea and foothill of the Montgri Massif. In every vacation that we do, we always finds comfort in trekking or hiking and swimming. So it is essential for us to have both element.

 This is the first time we went snorkeling as a family. (Except for my husband and eldest.)  So I would describe the experience as, should I say, scary and liberating at the same time. I have a fear of the unknown. (Most of us do) But in my case, the fear of the unknown is in any body of water. (Swimming pool included). If my foot don't touch the surface, I can have panic attacks. And my usual logical self will lose it's logic and do stupid things. I was scared even more for our youngest. She's barely 5. So we thought that she won't handle it, yet she was braver than I was. She jumped from the boat towards the open sea without hesitation. While me on the other hand was hesitant. I spent a few minutes before I jumped. But I did it! Heart pumping and all I was absorbing this experience while I was in the water. And it was liberating just thinking about it. I was glad I did it. And will do it again, even if it scare the h_ll out of me! Still have that fear though, I guess it wouldn't go, back I will be overcoming it little by little.

 After snorkeling, we cool up our dizzy head with ice cream our family's food for the soul. And it was artisans, so it tastes so good! Not much like the artisans of an Italian Gelato but they are good in their own rights as well.
 

 THE HIKE

Normally it only takes three hours to and fro to our destination but since we have a 4 1/2 years old kid we need to stop once in a while so it took us four hours and a half the entire walk. Although our three kids are used to hiking with us no matter how long and how far, they wouldn't quit just like us. Good thing about hiking in Estartit is the directions that you can see, so all you have to follow it, but loosing yourself from time to time is allowed to, for you can see wonderful things allow the way and that makes up for the lost time that you spent being lost.

Tired after our long walk, we beat the heat again by our food for the soul, ice cream. But this time, trying  the different flavors.

FOOD

Food is cheap as well. There are restaurants that serves a non-expensive home cook meal as well. And if you were in Spain, it's right to say that you should not leave without tasting their paella. Whatever kind it is! Seafood, chicken, mixed and others.

TAMARIU

Tamariu, Spain is a bonus is this year vacation. We discovered it by chance. Internet provides a lot of list of beaches that you can discover near Estartit and doing the usual "ini-mini-miny-mo" selection that I happen to chose this beach. So here we are, one of the greatest hidden beach of Costa Brava. It's child friendly and considered beach for families with younger kids. Luckily, my finger pointed me to the right direction....errr, beach, should I say.

Well, I enjoy every minute of it. So I hope you enjoy the photos too. (And the video of my husband diving).  Have a nice summer, or what left of it, or whatever season you are in right now.

Mental block

Every thing has it's own proper time. And I think it is time for me to change... to change the line of work where  I am right now. I've been in the food and beverage division in DLP (Disneyland Paris) for seven years now. I sense that my brain is starting to get stagnant. And I have created my own comfort zone in that place. And going out of that comfort will be hard if this continues. So I decided to apply in a position where I knew nothing about.

I told myself, seven years ago, I knew nothing about the restaurant business, yet I excel in it. I outdo my limitations. I learned from it and now I knew everything even with my eyes closed. So I'm sure with the new division where I am applying, I have the guarantee that I can do this also.

I had my first interview last Tuesday (the 9th of June) which I think turned out well because she asked me to do the next step which the English test through another colleague by telephone. The proposition requires that you should have knowledge of two European languages, for me, it's French and English. Between the two French will be just the satisfactory level. And the English test, I did that today.

If that was the French language test, you will see looking through books, reviewing verbs conjugation. But since it is English, I am very should say confident. for I am quite comfortable speaking in English.

But then the instance of mental block, just happen!

How can I? How could I? What am I? Why did I?

I didn't know what happened. Maybe things happen because they just happen.

I scolded myself because of that, that I can't even think of the word "mother tongue." Just simple two words, "mother and tongue." It was in my head but in French. "Langue maternelle." It should be in English for this an English test!

The interviewer was asking me that aside from English what other languages I know or speak of. So I answered, "my.... then the thought of thinking was gone."

Mental blocked just happened at that moment.

Luckily, the question came back the question  after few seconds and I was able to say, "Filipino." But it doesn't make any sense now because the phrase that came out of my mouth is these... "My.... (mental block, words looking for is mother tongue didn't came out of my tongue).... Filipino.

So making sentence looked like this, "My.... Filipino and I also started taking basic course in Spanish, so I know how to speak phrases during conversation with clients in my line of work."

Well, I still hope that little mishap, won't affect my chances of going into another field. It's all in the past now, I cannot do anything about it. But I think I still have more chances of getting that job than not. And I'm sure there's another interview after this. But if not, Disneyland is filled with other division, where I can take my chances. Good luck to me.

NB: I don't own any images in this post. Credits are given to those who design and create them.

Single Mother for 18 days

I am independent. I can live alone. I can take care of my kids all by myself and I can do it all. Without sweating.

That's what I thought.

24 years of married life, even though we are a family, I see myself as that. Independent. Mostly I thought that my husband cannot live without me. I am the one who does everything for him. Except for the cooking which I really don't possess the talent nor the patience. If he needs to process some documents, it's me who prepares it all. Vacation, I'm the one who's planning it. Even the preparation of baggages, I do it. School appointments, dentist appointment, doctor's appointment, name it,  it's all written in my planner and all I need to do is to remind him of those things. Just like a secretary. I take pride in me, myself and me alone can all those things. In my head, without me my husband's world might not collapse but surely, it will stop.

Until the 18 days taught me wrong.

My husband went back home to the Philippines to spend time with his brothers and the rest of his family. I insisted that he take that vacation because he was missing them so much that I can almost touch his pain every time we talk about it.  He always says that he don't want to go home alone. Atlas, a friend of him will also go back home. I took the opportunity of convincing him that he needs to go, even without us.

We can't go as a family because the prize of airplane tickets alone for all 5 of us will costs all our savings. Not to include the pocket money that we need to spend when we arrive there. Secondly, the school is still up, so it will be an inconvenience for the kids to be pulled out of school for three weeks. And the board of Education here in France is somewhat strict and wouldn't allow it if without a really, really valid reason.

So I said go and don't worry. I can handle everything as I always do and have a great time.

And he did. 

He did had a great time specially with his family whom he hasn't seen for almost 5 years.

 But me on the other hand discovered many things.

I discovered that cooking is not really for me. My brain is exploding every time I think of what to cook for lunch and dinner. I don't have patience to wait for them to be over.

I discovered that thrash should be taken out on the eve of  Sunday because the garbage truck passes on Monday morn. And I also discovered how heavy those thrashes are.

I discovered that we should have at least 6 Liters of milk  and more than 2 pack of water (12L) per week. And how heavy those things are, I felt that my shoulders dislocating while carrying them and to think I need to carry them until the second floor. (We live in an apartment on the second floor without elevator)

I discovered how to open and close the garage door. Which took me a clear 20 minutes to do so.

I discovered how hard to repair broken things at home and things like the bike of my daughter and how greasy that is.

I discovered that it is not easy organizing things in the refrigerator. Yes, I know, even the refrigerator, he is the one handling it.

I discovered that I need to buy some groceries every week and make some list before going because even though I am already there, I don't know what to buy. Not like when my husband is doing it, he knows what to buy and he even don't have a list. 

I discovered that cleaning the toilet, the bathroom, the floor and the kitchen takes time. For he mostly do those things.

I discovered that washing dishes are really tiring. We don't have a dishwasher so normally we wash the dishes twice a day or we wait until the end of the day to wash all things we used for the whole day. I didn't even believe him when he told me that it is tiring to do those things. It wasn't me who's doing it, so my head, he's making excuses so that we buy a dish washer.

I discovered that preparing breakfast takes a lot of creativity which sometimes I don't realize that my husband possesses. One day our youngest daughter asked me for a crêpe and I just couldn't do it because she was asking me to flip it over by throwing it in air just like what his father does.


I discovered that taking my son to and fro to his tennis lessons, piano lessons, solfège lessons and other lessons tires me. 

I discovered that there should always be tissue paper, water and some cookies or fruits when going out with our kids. Yes, my husband is meticulous like that or either he is so used to going out with our kids that he knows what they need, which I don't really realized until it was my turn to do them.

I discovered that even simple things in life, I cannot do them because it was always my husband who's taking care of these simple things for me.

I mostly discovered and realized that I am as dependent on my husband as he is dependent on me.

I may not discover these things if not for the 18 days living as a single Mom. And it made me appreciate more the sacrifices that my husband does for me and for my kids.  

Don't get me wrong. I did had a good time with our kids. It's just that the 18 days being alone with them made me realized a lot of things. 

And thank God for these 18 days. The 18 days which made me realize that all is not about me and myself. The 18 days that crushes my pride and taught me humility. The 18 days that led me to appreciate the simple things that my husband does for me in our everyday living. And I thank God this 18 days is over. 

______________________________________________

NB: One thing that I also realized is how hard it is for all single mothers out there to do more of these things and of unlimited time too because for me after 18 days I know that I won't be alone again. That is why I am honoring all those single mothers out there who stands as both mother and father to their kids.  

It makes me realize how lucky are people like me to have someone besides them going through everyday life. 

Je suis Charlie

At around 11h30 in the 11th arrondissement of Paris, gunmen attacked the satirical newspaper/magazine "Charlie Hebdo." They killed 10 journalist and 2 policemen.

I saw the video where one policeman was hit, on the ground and one hooded man got closer to him and shot him point blank. I was horrified.

I am a stranger living in France for 14 years now. What I loved first about France is their sense of "Liberty." Liberty in all kinds of expressions. No one will judge what one believes or what are their point of views.

In 1997,  the first time I came here, just to attend the "World youth day," I saw a lady wearing rubber shoes. Although the right and the left rubber shoes were alike, the colors were different. The right shoe is pink and the left is blue. Same with her socks. I thought that she might be crazy and I tried to laugh, but my mother told me it is France's "sense of liberty of expression."

That is when, I realized that I would love to come back here, make it my second home and build a family here. I love to raise a family where no one can be defined by what we are, who we are and who we believed in. That whoever  brought you up, wherever you were brought up, what ever your conviction is or whatever status of life that you have, those things will never hinder you to do what you want or to show who you really are. I would love to raise a family in a country of liberty, equality and brotherhood. Where you don't have to be scared of showing others who you are. Where you don't have to be scared of saying what's on your mind.

Not until today.

Where is the old France where people were not segregated by religion. Where is the old France where friends are just mere friends whatever color of skin they have? Where is the old France where we can share different views about everything, yet it will not lead to killings or even disputes. Where one can listen and discuss about the other's point of view without being judgmental and angry about it because of the "Respect of each other's opinions." Where is that country now. The country that I made my second home. The country where I built my family.

But even with the shock in my heart that shows on my face, I am not letting that France just simply go away!

For the memories of the people who died today, let us not allow their lives to go in vain. No terrorism act! Yes to freedom of expression!

Vive la France! Vive l’Égalité! Vive la Liberté! Vive la Fraternité!

The Year of Great Blessings and Wonderful Changes!

Bonne fête de fin d'année! We thank 2014 for being good to us, for giving us memories to keep and for teaching us great lessons in life.

For the year 2015, we wish everyone to receive blessings of great wonders, wishing that we may have a good heart to be grateful for all the blessings big and small, that each and everyone may appreciate what we have, not to ask for too much but be grateful that we have more than enough (and a little bit more), I wish for all of us to have the ability to always pay forward the blessings that will still come our way and the blessings that we already received in advance, may we gain wisdom not only to know the difference but also acknowledge what is worthwhile, may we hold on to a faith that will let us be a better person/people and may we create wonderful memories that will last a lifetime. 

And most of all, I wish for all of us to have an everlasting happiness together with our loved ones, family, friends and other people who come, who came, who passed by, who stayed and who is willing to stay in our life.

Happy, Prosperous and Wonderful New Year 2015 to each and everyone!!!!