There's a time for everything as the saying goes. For more than half of my life, since I was 16, precisely 21 years ago, I have never been alone. My boyfriend turned husband was always with me in every step of the way. From highschool to college to leaving Philippines and living in France. He was always there for me and with me. I was never alone.
And when I had kids of my own the idea of being alone completely vanished in my vocabulary. Sometimes even in my "private moment," a little person would be banging on the door to let her/him in.
Watching movies, doing groceries, shopping or eating out, I am always with someone. It is either him or our kids or a friend. I haven't been alone in a long time.
I was envious of people who can do things for themselves. I have a friend who can even watch a movie by herself while me, on the other hand can't even go outside without asking someone to accompany me. I was so used to having someone with me that I can't even decide what to buy for myself. I always needed someone else's opinion before I buy the things that I want or needed.
I am not saying that being with someone is a bad thing, but I am just wondering how does it feel to be alone.
So as we celebrate our country's independence today June 12 (Philippines' Independence Day), I am also celebrating my own independence day.
I went out, eat alone and bought something for myself without consulting someone else's opinion or advice. And I felt... hallow at first, yet afterwards, I felt good about myself and proud too. I did things on my own for a very long, long time.
I didn't feel confident as I walk out of the door and decided to go by myself. But as time passes, I realized that there are so many things that I can enjoy even being alone. And that I don't have to worry if my decision to buy things would make someone else happy or not. The most important thing is if it makes me happy. I promise myself to do this more often.
