Well as you have known, my 90 days of wellness journey with Coach Jane ended last August 3, 2021. But it doesn't mean that I already achieved my goal. And it doesn't mean that I already stopped or they stopped being my support.
But after my 90 days, I want to test myself.
Some of you might not get my point, so let me put it this way, I went to a party and had fun. Music is lively and I eat, laugh and danced. I enjoyed myself but unfortunately it's time to go home.
I was wondering if I can still continue having fun on my own, in my own home?
I did not inform my Coach/Ate Jane about it, so I'm very sorry! (Actually I informed her but I was already in my 4rth day of testing myself.)
So for a week I tested myself. If without any support, without any inspiration from my sisters, without any Facebook posting, peeping or sneaking... can I continue the program on my own with same energy as I started.
And here's my conclusion:
1. The 90 days program is a good way to build "discipline." If the discipline is well established even in the midst of temptation, you will not sway.
There will always be temptation, that is a fact, they are all around. From people, to food, to unwillingness/making excuses of not doing things or to simply, being out of focus (because of a TV series that we are watching). But what I learned through the 90 days program is how I chose to live my life: "the-same-old-same-old-ways" or (as Angelica Panganiban puts it) to the "come-back-to-the-young-and-beautiful-you-way."
The bonus of this program? I get to choose what I want.
2. Yes! Anybody can do it on their own BUT it is harder when you are alone.
Without peeking at food posting, I lack inspiration. Although I tried to stay within the protocols, I found that during the week of testing myself, I'm eating the same food all over again. My son brought that to my attention when he said, "Maman, you're eating that 2 days in a row?" with his low key and french accent tone.
Although I do the set of exercises challenges, I find myself not really putting my heart into it. (It's really hard to do it alone, because before I can always hear ate Jane's voice when I'm exercising! Making me focus and do my workouts well.)
3. Yes! You can do it all on your own BUT it is still better if there's support from people who serves as your motivation.
I found out that there is a certain power that urges you to continue when you see people around you trying their best to make themselves healthy and happy. I think it is right to say, that if you want to bring out the best in you, you have to surround yourself with people who will not only empower you, believe in you, support you, uplift you, motivate you and appreciate you but they are also leading you to do so because they are the living example themselves.
Ate Malou, Ate Lans, Ate Ethel, Ate Joy are some people who are my "motivational-sources." Not hearing news about them or from them depletes my energy and I haven't even started my day yet.
4. Being healthy doesn't stop when your 90 days wellness journey ends, being healthy becomes a lifestyle.
I find it harder to go back to the ways before because of the good habits I established during these 3 months time. It's also related to the discipline that my Coach/Ate instilled in me. I tried it, I tested myself but there's a voice inside me who's always reminding me that I worked hard to be in this moment of my life, why put them to waste?
And as my Coach/Ate Jane says "in healthy living, there is no finish line. Everyday, you have the chance and option to do it -- make the wrong things right, make the bad things good, make the fails success."
5. (This one, I added after publishing and hearing from my Coach/Ate) It is scary to continue alone BUT it is scarier to go back to where we were before.
There will be times in our life where we have to face everything on our own. That is why Coach/Ate Jane emphasizes on the importance of deepening our love for the "new us," so that we will be our own number one cheerer on our own wins and so we will also be able to accept and forgive our own failures. (This is are all from her.)
"Live life as if I am still watching over you, that we are still cheering for you and accepting you whether there are fails." - Jane Bio
6. That happiness is contagious and limiting myself from the source is like depriving myself of being happy.
A proven fact. Every time that there's "challenge unlocked," from one of the sisters, I will read it with all smiles on my face and in my heart. Though miles apart from everyone, I feel their happiness which in turn makes me happy too. And even in chaos of my everyday life, as long I hear good news from the wellness page, my tiredness will evaporate.
Well I'm on the last day of testing myself and I'm glad I did it. It helped me a lot through discerning the path that I took and I will take. It helped me appreciate more the journey that I took. And looking forward to a more beautiful, younger and healthier me! (Angelica Panganiban, beat that!)
NB: Here's a photo taken yesterday (we are in vacation right now). First time wearing a bathing suit confidently (But still with shorts. Hoping next year, will confidently wear without one. Small steps at a time.)
I started this "wellness journey," with a lot of hesitations, questions and mostly self-doubt.
You see, I am a person who doesn't want to seek any help even if I am in a most difficult situation. I don't want people to pry on my private life (in what I am, in what I do and specially in what I eat. Duh!)
I don't want to be in the center of the spotlight, the focus of the attention. No, not I. I prefer to be the one behind the scene, hiding my "beauty" (or "worth," if you can't find me beautiful) in the shadows, hide myself behind the camera or behind someone else (mostly behind my kids, on the arms of my husband or in the comfort of my oversize sweaters, wind breakers or jackets).
Until 2020, I am at 85.5 kilos. Unhealthy food became my best-friend. The more I eat, the more I hid myself.
And I developed the worst attitude a person can have, the "je-m 'en-fou-attitude." (I-don't-care-attitude). As long as I can do what I want, my family is happy, I am happy, nobody can tell me what to do and I always believe that nobody can change me, only me. Which is actually true!
But as I focused my attention towards them, I realized something. Although I was able to laugh with them, I regretted not having the energy to play with them.
Jumping on trampoline, playing the jumping rope, running and dancing with them… all these leaves me breathless. Literally breathless, for after those activities, for sure I'm having, either, an asthma attack, arrhythmia or hypertension 'cause these are all my health condition.
It hit on me! I'm only 45 going on 46, my age is not that old, yet I can't even do these things for my kids. (I hid in the excuse that "I am the better photographer," in the family that is why most of the time, I'm not in the photo).
And so this year, I decided to put the light, not on "me" per se, but on my health, which means it includes, the whole physical, mental and spiritual self. I want to see me in front of the camera.
For this year 2021, on the month of January (my actual weight at that time is 79.5 kilos) I decided to be more active. But it's hard for me to be consistent because I feel alone in this journey (although my husband is also doing the same thing but still… I can't pin point what's the problem) and temptations are more often stronger than I. And more often than not, I cheat. And will reason out, I can exercice again tomorrow. I can do it all over again tomorrow. I can re-start again tomorrow. But tomorrow, I realized, are endless. After tomorrow, there will be another tomorrow.
Although at the end of April I already lost 5 kilos since January (which I don't want to find back, let the lost be lost), but still I find it very difficult to stay on track and to stay focused on my goal which is to regain my health back.
Then Coach Jane created the FAFS (Fit and Fab Sisters Group) and they invited me to that group.
Honestly, my initial reaction: my right eyebrow went up.
Knowing me, I will not be a part of this. I cannot acknowledge my health and weight problem nor share it. (Even if it already shows without me even telling them.)
All hesitations also came to mind, all the "what ifs? and can I?" I was already telling myself, I'm already on to it on my own, why will I need to join? So I plan not to give in to them. And my brain started listing down excuses that I can come up with, if they will ask again.
And as expected, Coach Jane (and some sisters in the group) asked again, not only twice but more than that.
Coach Jane is persistent, she didn't give up on me. I bombarded her with my excuses but still she insisted. (That's why I know she's bulletproof.) She asked me to just try it and told me to think of, "my reasons why." And that hit the spot…
Think… of… my… reasons… why…
And in the end, I erased all the list of excuses that I come up with and told myself, even if I fail at least I tried (But my head was screaming, if you don't succeed at least you can blame her and not yourself. What an evil thought, it's meant to be a joke and I didn't really thought about that.)
So my Wellness Journey with Coach Jane begun.
I started May 3, 2021 with 75.2 kilos (165.44 lbs). Measurements: Chest: 45.5 inches, Waist: 40 inches, Hips: 41.5 inches.
Fast forward to now, my weight is down to 65.6 kilos (144.32 lbs). Measurements: Chest 40 inches, Waist: 33 inches, Hips: 37 inches.
Far from perfect. (Toooooo fffffaaaaaarrrr!)
BUT what I've learned in this wellness journey with Coach Jane is not the importance of what the weighing scale dictates, but it is more on the importance of how my health has improved (losing weight is just a bonus).
It's seeing myself in front of the camera again instead of hiding behind it. The confidence it gave me is a full 360° change.
Being able to enjoy playing with my kids again is the most precious gift the program has given me.
I was worried because I know that there are a lot of things I need to give up and sacrifice. Like, she knows that I love baking for my loved ones, so she found a healthy and alternative way for me to still enjoy doing so. It did not limit me from what I can do for my family, but instead, it opened new possibilities.
The program didn't only reboot my metabolism, but it rebooted my entire lifestyle.
Coach Jane didn't asked me to go on a "diet," but she guided me to a healthy food selection. So I'm still eating 3 times a day but with the right quantity, with the right ingredients and at the right time. I never felt being deprived or hungry.
She makes a list of protocols that serves as a guide that helped me make a better decision in regards to the food that I will eat. These protocols are clear, well explained and easy to follow.
The weekly challenges she gave is always appropriate to my health condition. She will not give me anything that is beyond my physical abilities. She will always ask, "Mi, kaya ba?" ("Mi, can you do it?")
Sometimes, my hesitating brain will always question the efforts that I do, but Coach Jane always help me realize the value of small changes that is happening to my body, to my personal life and also the positive effect it gives my family.
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| Same pants, same t-shirt, same person or not! |
What's the biggest realization I had through this, is that, it is better when you have a support group. They are not there to criticize you. They are there to go through the same road with you. Some may walk faster than you or some slower but still, you're walking on the same road with them. I never felt that I was on my own. Everyone in this group serves as a fuel for me to go on and move forward.
Another good thing in this program is that even if you fail, you know that you can get up again because she (and the other sisters) are going to push you back on your feet again. So there will be no fail in this wellness journey with Coach Jane.
I'm not yet finished with this journey but I'm forever grateful!
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NB: And by the way, I'm not the only one benefiting the result of this program. My husband who is diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes since 2001 which gradually turn into diabetes Type 2 and had an eye complication in 2018 (retinopathy) causing him to loose his left eyesight, had 4 times a day insulin injection at 48 units/injection. Now, he's on a once a day injection with 30 units. (His weight from 94.9 kilos down to 84.0 kilos, just like I said, losing weight is just a bonus.) So this wellness Journey with Coach Jane also became a family affair.
In summary, this year 2020 is a roller coaster ride for me and my family. A bumpy ride at that. Filled with ups and down. Filled with challenges and wonderful surprises. Filled with trials and victories.
But accepting both with a grateful heart made me (and my family) realize a lot of things.
One, that there are really specific person or people that God uses to play essential roles in my life (or in our lives.)
I am truly grateful to them for they became "the rock in tough times."
As I journey through life, I discovered that these people is journeying with me in all sense. They are there when there's nothing special happening in my life (in normal ordinary days), when I am in the peak of my happiness or in the lowest bottom of a pit (through good times and bad times), and most specially when I am tested by life itself.
It is a relationship that is not based on what I have but of who I am.
Simply putting it, they are the "constant presence" in my life. Period. And I plan to keep them for good all through out. So I say, thank you for being a part of me, for being a part of my family.
Second, Year 2020 made me invest in what is essential. And encouraged me to throw out what is not.
Moving out of our old place and into a new one made me realize that, through time we accumulated things that doesn't even have a value. Those things are just rubbish that are cluttering our spaces. I sorted them out. And I felt lighter.
My family is the first essential of my life. 20 years here in France, I invested in myself. My studies and career. Working on week ends doesn't really bother me until I saw how my kids have grown without me noticing it.
I am not saying that work is not essential. It is. But prioritizing it more than my family made me realize that time is really short. And that once you lose it, you can never get it back.
Every week end, when I receive a photo or video of my kids having fun with my husband (bowling, carting, promenade) made me ask myself, "Why I am here and not there with them?"
2020 made me decide to change all of that.
2020 reminded me also, that I am investing most of my time in non-essential things that I forgot how important is my health. 2020 shook me up and awakened me, making me see that I am investing my time to something that doesn't invest in me.
It made me invest in relationships that are for keeps. Relationship that gives me importance, giving me positive look about life and giving me peace and tranquility. And 2020 gave me the courage to throw out relationships or things that are not necessary.
I've learned that in any relationship, (be it friendship, marriage, romantic relationship, or towards family) it is always a two way process. One cannot give and give alone nor one cannot receive and receive alone. Both person involved needs to experience the
two ends of receiving and giving.
For those people who treat me (or my family wrong.) I pray that God blesses you more as much as He blessed me. I am grateful to you and I thank you, for you taught me "to start throwing out pebbles and start picking up diamonds."
(NB: Essential things for me may differ from yours)
Third, that more blessings will come to those with a grateful heart. (And not with an envious heart. I learned it the hard way. So to those with envious heart, tuck them all away, place them in a safe box, throw away the keys and throw out that safe box at the bottom of the deepest ocean.) 100% guarantee, your life will be filled with more blessings you can ever imagine.
Lastly, I realize that no matter how you planned your life, it will never turn out the way you want it. Not unless that it is in God's plan for you.
And because I always believe in the power of words, I want to end my end year reflection with these:
May we never forget that 2020, is the year that empowered the whole world to surpass trials and challenges that made us stronger
Let us be reminded that 2020, restored the "humanness" in each and everyone. And despite it being different and somehow a difficult year for most us, it taught us valuable lessons of life.
I hope that 2020 helped us mend what is broken, form new ones, helped produce quality time and helped in the creation of wonderful memories with our loved ones.
May we look forward to the year 2021, with a grateful heart, for us not to take for granted the assurance of God's presence.
May God forgives, restores, heal, revive and renew us in any aspect of our life that needs forgiveness, restoration, healing, reviving and renewal.
May we anticipate each day with excitement, in order to receive more blessings that are in store for us.
May we invest on things that are essentials because they are the ones that pays the best interest.
May we dwell in the beauty of life and nature, for through them we can discover hidden messages of God's love.
May we be grateful for all the changes that will come, for those dreams that will turn into reality, for those friends that will turn into family for through changes we'll realize that life doesn't stop for anybody.
May God bless us with wonderful surprises, happiness, good health and amazing memories worth keeping.
As I always remind my kids, at all times, "May we chose to be the better person."
And lastly, may we hold on to God's promise:
"For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and future." - Jeremiah 29:11
